


There is No Reason to Ask Why

by Hirotero



Category: Berserk
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-11
Updated: 2017-07-25
Packaged: 2018-11-12 16:33:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11165751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hirotero/pseuds/Hirotero
Summary: This story is told by Guts. The setting is in the 21st century and Guts is living a lonely life with his cat named Azul. He decides that it was time for him to find a human companion and sets off to downtown Sayuri. He meets Griffith at a local bar who asks Guts if he will allow him to play God with his life. Guts accepts the offer but will soon regret it once he spends more time around Griffth.





	1. Guts and Azul

**Author's Note:**

> I know... Griffth is bad but maybe I can show you his good side?... Oh who am I kidding, he's bad...

_Prologue_ :

I never thought I would see a human disguised as an angel. He appeared to look like one the way his blue eyes pierced through my soul. There were no scars on his fragile pale skin which would make you think that this man was an angel. His aura was astonishing to others and it has consumed me completely. His silver curly hair had me in a trance. It's amazing how someone so beautiful can leave you speechless.

I soon realized that his aura and angelic appearance was only a shield to hide who he truly was. This man was no angel… he truly was a white fanged snake. He wrapped himself around me, crushing me entirely so that I couldn’t leave. I cried out in pain as he overpowered me. His glare, his intense blue-eyed glare had paralyzed me to the point where it felt like he was crushing me.

“Guts” he cooed my name in my ear. I could not respond and listened to him repeat my name over and over. I wanted him to stop. I wanted to push him away mother... I’m scared mother... Mother?

_Chapter 1_ :

I open my eyes to the blue light sky. It seemed that it was going to be a rainy day. It was just me and my Azul. Azul’s elegant black silky fur and green intense eyes were all mine. She was the love of my life and my only companion in this lonely apartment. This was the only great treasure my mother had left me before she passed.

Was it weird to love an animal this much? She is the most elegant creature I have every laid eyes on. How could l not love her? I’m sure other people are like me when it comes to the love of their pets. It was an unexplainable love that I had with Azul and I did not care if she stopped giving me the time of day as long as I could stare at her beauty.

Azul licked her fur and afterward gave me her usual routine cat stare. I loved it when she stared at me. It felt like she was trying to communicate with me by just her eyes. “Azul why can’t you speak missy?” Azul kept staring and tilted her head a little by my question. I decided to talk for her. “Who would want to talk to you doofus?” I laughed at my attempt to speak for her and replied, “Hey! I feed you young lady now come over here and greet me!” Azul stretched her back and rubbed against the bedroom door before proceeding to jump next to me to rub her head against my hand. I held Azul against my chest and started to rub her tiny paws. She purred with satisfaction and grace.

I don’t know why but as I held Azul, a sudden rush of sadness overwhelmed me. I thought I was content with myself just having Azul. “Azul… why can’t you speak my Azul?” I sighed knowing that she would not respond and looked around my room trying to collect my thoughts.

I was lonely, plain and simple. I’ve been alone ever since my mother passed and my father had left me behind to fend for myself. I wonder if he blamed me for her death? He didn’t say a word and just left… I thought I would be ok with my Azul. But something inside me wanted more than just Azul.

I wanted to have a human companion for the first time in my life. Possibly a lover? I shake my head at this thought knowing very well that that was a less likely event to occur. I felt no desire to be in a sexual relationship with anyone. Was it fear? Or do I not feel sexually attracted to anyone? I didn’t want to pursue further questions in my head and I made up my mind to take a risk. I look towards Azul as I held her closely to my chest. 

“Azul I think it's time that I went socializing don’t you think?”

After a few minutes of deciding whether I should leave or not, I looked through my closet to find something decent to wear. Though everything in my closet was full of a bundle of clothes that I never wore since I do not go out much. I watch Azul scurry to the closet right when I opened the door.

“Do you want to help me look for clothes Azul?”

Azul’s tail was swaying back and forth by my question and I thought it was a good time to talk for her again 

“Of course Guts! You need to get the hell out of here, I need some alone time.”

As I spoke for her, Azul climbed on top of the bundle of clothes and meowed directly at me. I smiled weakly at her adorable meow and picked her up so I could get to the clothes. I picked out a nice black soft sweater along with some black slacks to match. After I got done dressing up, I went to the bathroom to adjust changes to my hair so it wouldn’t seem like I didn’t take care of myself which was sometimes true. I looked through the mirror at my light caramel skin and black short hair. I touched my eight-year-old scar that was inflicted near my right eye. I stared at myself for a long time and repeated to myself “I can be loved… I can be loved.”

If people around me can find someone then I can do to is what I thought to myself. I looked away from the mirror and took out some cash from my drawer then headed towards the door.

Azul follows me which seemed like she was escorting me out. I put my hand on the doorknob with hesitation. I don’t want to go but my conscious was telling me that I need to. I can't stay cooped up in this apartment forever, as much as I wouldn’t mind staying with Azul all day didn’t bother me but only the silence of this place scared me.

Azul stared at me and she seemed impatient while I stood in front of the exit. Azul rubbed her head against my leg which made me think that maybe she sensed my loneliness and my need to socialize with the outside world. I looked at Azul and gave her one last pat on the head as I exited the front door. Little did I know that this would be the biggest risk of my life.

 

 


	2. The Encounter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The two fated characters finally meet.

I wandered around downtown Sayuri which was a well-known city for people to socialize. However, since I don’t go out much I knew that I was lost. I decided it would be best to stick near the trains so I wouldn't lose my way back home. I felt dumb now. What was I thinking going outside without an official plan of where I wanted to go.

 

I wondered if I was the only person in the world that made such rash decisions to go out by themselves in hopes to socialize with someone. I looked at different places but most of them were bars that were too expensive for my taste. I ended up finding this one bar that went back to the 20th century of the world.  The place felt magical and had a dark presence to it when I looked through the window. I placed my face inches from the window to get a better look at the decorations which were a mix of Victorian and Gothic style. My eyes lit up from this fact and I wanted desperately to enter this place but my anxiety stopped me from proceeding.

 

 Suddenly, I realized I was being watched. In the window, a man was looking towards me and our eyes connected. I tried to look away since I was embarrassed that I have been caught snooping the area, but the man would not allow me to avoid eye contact with him. He pursued my eyes and I took notice of him fully which made my heart start beating like crazy. He was probably one of the most handsome individuals that I have ever laid eyes on. I couldn’t deny how attractive and angelic he looked. His blue eyes reminded me of Azul but he had a lighter color to his. His hair was silver which matched with his eyebrows and with the rest of his pale skin. His lips weren’t as pale since he wetted them with something, he just looked amazing… like a statue. I felt embarrassed for staring at this man for too long and felt uncomfortable so I thought it was the right time to leave.

 

As I began to walk away I heard a loud screech which came from the man since he got up abruptly. My heart fluttered unknowingly when the man proceeded to the door as I began to walk away. “HEY! WAIT!” yelled the man who then proceeded to come after me. I so desperately wanted to run but he grabbed me by the shoulder before I could take off. “Yes?” I replied awkwardly and looked around to see if anyone was noticing this incident.

 

The man kept his hand on my shoulder and looked directly into my eyes. 

“You must have wanted to come into the bar, I didn’t mean to scare you, please come. I could use the company” he smiled at me brightly. He then looked confused because he must have noticed my bewildered reaction to his smile. I knew I was flushed all over my face and I would have never thought in a million year that a handsome guy would want to hang out with me. A loner with a cat for a companion...

“Well?” the man asked and seemed to grow impatient. This was my moment I couldn’t run away now.

 

“Yes, I would like that.” Without giving me time to say anything else he grabbed my hand and rushed me inside the bar.

 

The bar was even more elegant when I was inside. The first thing I set my eyes on was the bar table which had shiny empty wine glasses placed nicely in a row and variety amount of alcohol that was placed beside them. It was my first time entering a bar, which made me feel excited by seeing how well the bar organized itself. 

 

“So what’s your name love?” The man sat me down next to him and I started to become aware that this man was actually talking to me. 

 

“uhm.. my name is Guts.”

 

 The man did not hesitate by my unusual name and replied: “My name is Griffith, it is nice meeting you Guts.”

 

 He gave me a genuine smile which forced me to stare at something else.

 

“You know, you seem like a person that would understand my quest if you are willing to listen.”

I turned my head back towards him to show that I was interested in what he had to say. This was my moment to finally have a connection with someone and I didn’t want to give up so easily.

 

“What does your quest consist of?”

 

Griffth light blue eyes looked into mine and with a smirk on his face he said,

 

“Do you ever wonder why God gave us emotions, Guts?”

 

_What kind of question is that to ask someone you just met?_

 

 “… No, I never think about God” Griffith looked puzzled as if he knew I was lying about my interest about God.

 

“Believe me, you have thought about God. God is us if you really thought about it closely. Why else would he put us on this earth? God could have made anything he wanted but decided to create a model of flesh that has a mind of its own.”

 

I had no idea what to say. Silence just grew and I waited to see what else Griffth had to say.

 

“I want you to be my test subject. I want to be your God, Guts.”

 

Confused, I asked, “What do you mean by being my God?”

 

“I mean that I want to see if I can answer any of your questions about God, I want to see if I can get you to call me one”

 

 “ Not likely,” I said to Griffth but something about Griffth made me believe that he was serious about this God thing.

 

“What do you have to lose love? The only reason why I approached you is because it seemed that you were longing for someone. I can be that someone…”

 

Griffith places his hands on top of mine and glares at me again with his light blue eyes. He wasn’t wrong, I came out here because I was tired of being alone. Maybe it would be alright to play along. Maybe we could get passed this God thing and truly become friends.

 

“Sure, but you need to buy me a drink first”

 

 I asked shyly to Griffith, who in return gave me the most sadistic smile that made my heart feel regret.

 

He ushered the bartender to give me their house classic drink, while I thought to myself that maybe this was a mistake….


	3. Our Anger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter concludes the encounter in the bar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beware of Griffith! He isn't as adorable as he seems. =p

I don’t know why I bothered asking for a drink because the whole time I was just staring at Griffith talking to a crowd of people who had interrupted our conversation. The bar’s house classic was a mixed drink which I preferred only beer. Mixed drinks were never my thing but it was nice of Griffith to offer me a drink. Hopefully, he didn’t mind if I haven’t touched the drink.

 

Griffith’s conversation with the crowd seemed like it would never end. I started to get pouty but soon realized my behavior and decided to look around the bar so I could distract myself from him.

 

The moment I got up from my seat, Griffith glanced over to me which made me feel nervous. I walked around the elegant space for people to dine in. I wanted to have the courage to meet someone different besides Griffith. There was a nice young woman wearing a lovely tangerine dress and she seemed to be very open to talk to since she had a lot of people surrounding her.

 

The woman raised her hand and waved to me to come over. I hesitated. I was worried that Griffith might leave if I started talking with another group. He was the only person that has introduced themselves to me and had shown interest in getting to know me. I waved back so that the woman didn’t feel that I was ignoring her. We both smiled at each other but I grew worried that I was spending to much time away from Griffith.

 

I glanced over to where Griffith was but he was not there. I panicked and rushed back to the area in where I left him. The crowd of people that he was talking to was still there so I asked one of the men in the group if he knew where Griffith went off too. The man shook his head and then I asked the rest of the crowd but they had no idea.

_Damnit Guts… you just had to wait for him._

I started to look around the bar for him but he wasn’t revealing himself. I looked towards the young woman in the tangerine dress who was still drinking with her friends. Anger rose when I looked back at her. She made me get distracted! My anger must have shown on my face because the woman averted my gaze and started to engage with another conversation with her friends.

 

I became so pissed that I wanted to shake her. When this thought crossed my mind I knew my time was up.

 

_Oh no. I can’t act like this in public…Get it together._

One of the reasons why no one approached me was because of the anger written all over my face.  I don’t know why I get angry over the littlest things, it is quite pathetic. I shook my head aggressively and headed out the bar. When I came out the bar, Griffith was standing beside the door with a cigarette in his hand. He then dropped his cigarette and blew smoke in my face and then gave me a disappointed look.

 

I started to cough from the smoke and then felt a violent tug which came from Griffith. My anger turned into complete confusion from the unexpected reaction.

 

“ I DID NOT SAY YOU COULD LEAVE!”

 

Griffith’s angry face was two inches away from mine while he clutched his hands on my shirt so that I wouldn’t escape his gaze. His dark mysterious blue eyes captivated me from not retaliating to his abrupt anger. I would have thrown anyone who dared to attack me this way, but something about Griffith’s eyes paralyzed me.

 

“Did you think you could just go to that bitch and didn’t think I would notice Guts? Your mine. You said that you would help me with my conquest. Well, look at you… being a slut.”

 

My eyes went wide open. I was not sure how to respond to him. I didn’t want him to misunderstand.

 

“Griffith… I just thought I would give you some space so that you could talk to your friends.”

 

Griffith face now looked twisted from my response.

 

“Friends? Friends?? On the contrary, those imbeciles are nothing more than sheep who will do anything to get into my pants. Those types of Gods are not worthy to be on this planet. It has to be me….”

 

Griffith started muttering to himself while he still had this twisted look on his face. I was mostly concerned about the misunderstanding than the fact that he brought up the God thing again.

 

“Listen to me… I didn’t mean to go off like that. I still want to help you with your quest just please don’t be angry with me anymore.”

 

I started to become nervous while I waited for Griffith’s response. I did not want our encounter to end so soon. My mind kept telling me to run from this person. I don’t know why I didn’t listen when I had the chance.

 

Griffith did not unhand me and he began to breathe in and out in order to calm himself down. The reason why I probably didn’t freak out from Griffith’s anger is because I understood how easy it is to get angry, and he also seems to have better control of his anger than I do. I usually would break something or get into a fight with the person that I was angry with.

 

Griffith let out a soft breath and released me from his grasp. He brushed me down which made me look at my clothes. Did I have dust or something? He then embraced me and began to pat my head. From being angry to loving would have shocked anyone. I flushed from his gestures and awkwardly embraced him back.

 

“What are we doing Griffith?”

 

He didn’t respond and just held me. The silence was killing me and to have a beautiful man in my arms felt unbelievable so I couldn’t just push him away. He pressed his face against my chest and then lightly lifted his face to look at mine.

 

“ Guts we need to live together in order for this to work. I can’t have others distract you from me.”

 

His straightforwardness made me blush. Was this the feeling I had when I couldn’t find him at the bar?

 

“ Well I don’t mind having company but don’t you think living together is too sudden?”

 

Griffith gave me a puzzled look and shrugged his shoulders

 

“ Why the hesitation?  I think it will be a good change for you if I started to become involved in your life. you definitely need me don’t you?”

 

Griffith positioned his hands to my face and started to caress my cheeks. His hands felt so warm and soft. It didn’t even feel like this man was a stranger to me. I know I should say no to his request. It's not a good decision to just welcome a stranger into your home and hope that everything will work out. But part of me really wanted Griffith to stay with me. I'm not sure why I feel this way but maybe living with him will answer my uncertainties about him.

 

“Uhm... Griffith, we haven't even exchanged phone numbers yet. How can you already decide it's time to move in together?”

 

Griffith blinked at my question and blushed slightly.

 

_Oh, my God, he’s adorable!_

 

“ Hehe, your right. I'm moving too fast. Well, how about this then, we exchange phone numbers and I can come visit you until you feel comfortable with living together?”

 

“ That sounds fine with me, that idea seems to make the most sense since we just met”

 

Griffith smiled at me and finally released me from the embrace. I scratched my head awkwardly once he let go but I still kept my stupid smile on my face. It seems like this relationship will work out after all and I can’t wait to tell Azul.

 

Griffith began to take out his phone and extended his hand for mine. I handed him my phone and watched him put his number into my phone. He sent me a text message right away so that I would know that the number was his. He then gave me back my phone and stared at me one last time.

 

“Make sure to answer my text messages as soon as you can, I’ll be around to visit you tomorrow so be prepared”

 

I made a simple nod and stood there waiting for Griffith to leave. Once I didn’t see him anymore, I started to run home to my Azul.


	4. The Moment of Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Griffith has some explaining to do in this chapter. Guts is in for a crazy ride =(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After this chapter, the warning of violence will make sense. Enjoy.

When I got home Azul ran to the door to greet me. I scooped her up from the floor and gave her small kisses on the cheek. She purred wildly from me patting and giving her kisses.

 

“Azul, I have wonderful news I think I’ve finally obtained a friend.”

 

I bury my face in her fur and couldn’t help but smile like a fool. Azul pushed her paws on my face to stop me from suffocating her with affection. I decided to let her go and rushed onto the couch with my phone in my hand. I now understood why so many people are always so happy looking at their phones. This will be my first experience getting a text message and I was so excited that I couldn’t fall asleep.

 

I absolutely forgot that Griffith told me he would text me tomorrow because I spent hours on the couch staring at my text message app. I started to grow impatient and my stomach wouldn’t stop churning from the anticipation of a text bubble popping up at any second.

 

“Maybe I should text him first...” I thought to myself, but it was already four in the morning and he probably would be asleep by now. Then a thought hit me.

 

“Wait a minute…. He just called me a slut and claimed that I was his, what the hell!”

 

I jumped up from the couch and ran into the bathroom to look at myself in the mirror. I examined my face thoroughly and then looked at the rest of my body. Azul came strolling in the bathroom to see what I was up to. I looked at her dumbfounded.

 

“Do I look like a slut to you, Azul? Is this a face of a slut?  What the hell did he mean!”

 

Azul showed no response to my question as if all she cared about was when I was going to fed her and when I was going to bed so that we could go to sleep. I don’t know why it just occurred to me now about all the crazy things he said. Who says these things to someone without any embarrassment at all?

 

“I can’t do this Azul, I have to forget about this man. He was probably just messing with me since I stared at him too long. He’s probably telling all his buddies how he tricked me into believing that we could be friends. Fuck this! I'm going to sleep and never leaving this godforsaken place.”

 

Azul responded this time to my outburst by running out of the bathroom and to her bowl of food to point out that she was hunger. I sighed and took long deep breaths at the realization that my trip outside to socialize was a complete disaster. I walked near Azul and filled up her bowl with cat food. Once she was done eating I picked her up and laid her next to me on the bed. I rubbed her belly and rested my head against her black silky fur.

 

“I only need you Azul… no one else.” I whispered and finally went to sleep.

\-----

A strange noise woke me up from my sleep. Then I felt a vibration coming from my pant’s pocket. I got up abruptly knowing exactly what the noise was. It was my phone that showed a text message bubble. My eyes widen and without realizing it I threw my phone against the wall.

 

“Holy shit! No…  it's really happening, Oh my God my phone!” I ran to my phone and checked to see if I damaged it at all. Luckily I didn’t and for some reason, my hands started shaking.

 

“I can’t believe this is actually happening…”

 

I didn’t dare read the text message and just looked at the vacant screen of my phone. I had no idea what I was experiencing but my mind just kept screaming not to read the message. What if it was another crazy comment about God or me looking like a slut. Ugh this experience is so horrible I wish he wouldn’t have texted me.

 

After fifteen minutes of waiting, my phone started to vibrate again but this time it didn’t stop and started to flash his number. I panicked once again, and I tried to end the call quickly. My hand ended up slipping and I pressed the green phone button that indicated that I had accepted the call. My heart felt like it dropped down to my stomach. I ignored it and just stared at the timer that indicated that the call was in session. Then I heard his voice come out of the phone speaker.

 

“Guts! Open your door now!”

 

_Open my what?_

 

“What?” I yelled.

 

“I’m outside your door let me in so we can start our business”

 

_Business? What business?_

 

I ran out of my room and looked through the door window and saw him smiling cheerfully with bags around his arm.

 

I opened the door and looked at him with complete shock.

 

“How did you know where I live? Why are you here?”

 

Griffith ignored me and allowed himself into my place. I was in such disbelief that I didn’t even realize that he just walked into my home like he owned the place. Once I got out of my trance, I grabbed him by the shoulder and tried to push him out of the door. Griffith looked at me and said

 

“Wait, Guts we need to talk, the process must be fulfilled, we do not have time to waste!”

 

Griffith quickly removed himself from my hands and threw his bags on my couch.

 

“Answer me! How did you find me and what’s going on right now.”

 

 I started to tremble after I said this, I’ve never experienced something like this and it just scared the hell out of me.

 

“Darling don’t be afraid after you left the bar, I just followed after you once you thought I had left. Listen we don’t have much time we need to get started on our quest to become the ultimate beings known to man.”

 

“What on earth are you talking about? You need to leave or I will call the cops to escort you out!”

 

Right when I said this he brought a picture towards me. I looked closely at the image and couldn’t believe my eyes. It was a black and white photo of Griffith and me surrounded by other men who looked like they were soldiers. It was seriously me... but how? This image look to be way too old for us to even exist at this time by the looks of the soldiers’ uniforms.  I could tell it wasn’t photoshopped because no one has ever taken my picture.

 

“Griffith, is this really us?”

 

 I looked at him for answers but he was too busy looking through his bags to answer. Once he was done searching the bags he grabbed my hands and put a weird necklace into my hands. The necklace had a red oval shape to it and it also appeared to have a face but the eyes were closed.

 

Griffith sat me down on my couch and was applying locks to my front door and securing the windows with locks as well. I was so shocked that I couldn’t bring up the energy to stop him. My head started to hurt from just looking at the picture and holding the scary looking necklace I felt myself struggling to keep my eyes open because of the pain my head was giving me.

 

“Guts, I will answer you now. I’ve got everything prepared for our return. We have been resurrected but with human forms.”

 

“Human forms? What do you mean?”

 

“This isn’t our true selves. I am supposed to be God of this world and you were my lover who risen me to be a God with the necklace that you are holding now”

 

“ Lover? We were together? But why don’t I remember any of this? This just sounds so unreal.”

 

I shake my head in disbelief and started to feel my body tremble with fear. Griffith took notice and he started to become mad.

 

“ You were never like this! Why do you cower in fear! It is not the time to be afraid, it is time that we get our lives back to how they were you fool!”

 

My head starts to ache even more from all this information thrown at me. It can’t be true, this must be just a cruel joke.

I look at Griffith with frustration and I pleaded with him

 

“Tell me why are you doing this to me? Why is this happening?”

 

Griffith showed no emotion to my plea and he ignores me entirely to retrieve something else from his bags. He pulls out a jar with four pieces of folded golden paper. He then places the jar on his lap and looks back directly into my eyes.

 

“I’m going to help you to become the man you once were Guts. That necklaces you hold will help determine if we deserve our rightful place as rulers here again. I need you to help me to become a God like I was truly meant to be. After all this is over you can either stay with me or move on with your life, I don’t really care. Also, the pieces of paper that I have in this jar here will also come in handy in order to manipulate the necklace in returning our true powers”

 

He moved closer to me and grabbed my hand that held the necklace and brought it towards my face.

 

“The necklace will either leave us victorious or leave us dead. Think of it this way Guts, if my plan is successful you won’t have to suffer alone anymore. You’ll have me… but if you don’t want me you will be free from all your physical and emotional suffering.”

 

I couldn’t comprehend anything Griffith was saying to me at this point. My headache was getting worse and I was now breathing heavily. Ever since he handed me the necklace I’ve started to become ill. Almost like I couldn’t move. I didn’t respond because I had no words to express how confused I was.

 

Griffith noticed my heavy breathing and reached into his bag once again and pulled out a fresh cloth. He placed the cloth on my head to wipe the sweat off and then gave me a sad expression while he said.

 

“It’s happening Guts, the necklace has started the process of your transformation. It will now be up to me to try to return your memories and reveal to you who you really are. The man I feel in love with…”


	5. Gold Piece One : God of Wisdom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter gives Guts some of his memories back. The God of Wisdome piece reveals Guts fear of the truth and his relationship with Griffith.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late chapter. I have been thinking about how I should finish this fanfic so I spent some time writing an outline for it. Also, I'm busy with work and trying to relax since I am on summer break. I will start posting chapters as soon as I possibly can. Thanks for reading.

The pain grew more intense once Griffith mentioned transformation. I began to breathe heavily and curled into a ball in hopes that the pain would reduce itself. I was not aware of Griffith presence anymore because of the pain and all I could do was stay in my position.

 

All this information that I have received most of had a great impact on my body and maybe what Griffith says is the truth. Or maybe he is just plain crazy.

                                                     

I take a peek at Griffith and notice that he has taken out tools and placed them all on the floor. I look around and realized that my living room is now covered in chains and locks. This was no longer my home but a prison. Why did he need to apply so many locks? How was he able to get chains to stick to the walls and windows in a quick amount of time?

 

Griffith was organizing his tools on the floor and had each particular item labeled with numbers. The first tool that I noticed was a needle filled with some weird substance, the second tool was a hammer and some nails, the third item was a box that could fit a person in, the last item was covered up but it appeared to be a case.

 

The items made me question Griffith’s intentions even though he said he would just ask any questions I had. I felt my heart start to beat faster once it occurred to me that these items might be for me.

 

Griffith turned to look at me and placed his hand against my cheek

 

I flinched from his touch and my pain increased from the sensation I felt.

 

Griffith showed no emotions to my reaction. He’s empty gaze is what scared me the most because I know he would show me no mercy for what is about to come.

 

He shoves a golden piece of paper into my face that read “God of Wisdom.”

 

“Begin” replies Griffith.

 

I assumed he meant to start asking him questions since he said that it was the first task.

 

The questions came to me instantly and I first asked Griffith,

 

“Why are we in a picture together even though this is our first time meeting each other?”

 

Griffith quickly responds,

 

 “Like I stated before, we have been reincarnated in human form, however, we have been stuck in human form for over two hundred years.”

 

“Two hundred years? How is that even possible?”

 

 I looked at Griffith in disbelief while he still showed no emotions to my response.

 

“Well were in the mess because of you!”

 

 He’s emotions started to show this time but not of kindness. He’s aura grew dark and his face looked disgusted while he glared into my eyes.

 

“Do you really want to know what you did Guts? It is your own fault that we are in this mess.”

 

“Please tell me,”

 

I replied even though I did not want to hear what he had to say while he was giving me the death glare.

 

He came close to my face and continued to explain

 

“ I caught you with a woman. Not a normal woman but a witch. She manipulated you into betraying me and you destroyed me. However before your blade touched my neck, I used what little power I had left and forced the witch to put us in a curse that would allow us to regain our true forms.”

 

I did not know how to react to this information given that I do not remember it.

 

Griffith reverted back to showing no emotion on his face and said nothing. He appeared to be waiting for my next question.

 

“ Ok so if that is the truth, how come I don’t remember it?

 

“You do not remember only because you chose not to remember it. The past would have haunted you, so your body and mind allowed you to forget while the curse remained.”

 

Griffith said no more and waited for the next question.

 

“How much do you know about me then? And how come we haven’t returned back to our true forms yet?”

 

“ I know that you struggle with the idea of being alone. Throughout the years of trying to end the curse, you go through many personalities that have been distorted due to your mind trying to suppress your memories. We have not returned to our true forms yet because we would get caught by the witch. Though hopefully this time the tools of this time will stop her from interrupting our task to end the curse.”

 

That’s all Griffith said and awaited any further questions.

 

“What were my other personalities like and why does the witch want to stop you?”

 

“ The witch always comes because she can feel our transformation. She stops us because she has the power to continue the curse. We just need to complete the process before she finds us. If she finds us then we have to redo the whole tasks again in order to regain our true form. As for your personality, the first time we met once the curse was set, you acted cheerfully. You had no worries about life like you do now. The second time we met you were filled with anger, the third you acted like you cared about nothing. I could go on but to keep this short, your personalities are jumbled up because of your fear.”

 

Griffith awaited my other questions.

 

“What is my fear?”

 

“You fear the truth about your life and you fear me yet, your relationship with me is complex since you also feel anger and love towards me. The fear of the truth is what keeps you from furthering the transformation. Now ask me… the final question.”

 

I hesitate from asking as I looked at Griffith’s  face which still showed no emotion. My body ached from the pain and I forced myself to ask the question I desperately did not want to ask.

 

“What is my truth?”

 

“Your truth is that you were not loved. The moment you were brought unto this world the people around you knew what you would become. The love of your mother was not enough. The hatred from your father caused you to hate. The people who despised and wanted nothing to do with you, caused you to forget. The reason for all the pain and suffering for your life is because you were not meant for this world. You were not supposed to be alive because when you were born, you were dead, yet you lived. You were cast as a demon and despised and hated by all. That is why you choose to forget. you choose to forget your father who tried to kill you, forget your mother’s dying breath, and to forget me… the only person who accepted who you were and what you are now. However, I was not enough for you, so you chose to forget me as well. Guts… you now know your truth. You know that you are not one of them. You now know that you will never be accepted into this world. You can’t be loved because you have banished it from being so. Rejecting me was certain proof and for that, there is a price you must pay.

 

Ever word that came out of Griffith's mouth struck my heart with pain. It felt like he repeatedly stabbed me and I couldn’t take the pain. Tears started streaming from my face and my breathing began to go faster again. I looked at Griffith with such sorrow. I wanted to scream that I was sorry but I still did not understand why I had to say it. All my memories of my mother and my father came flowing back to me.

 

I saw the image of my mother’s face smiling at me. I saw my father behind her also smiling but not at me but at my mother’s happiness. Soon my mother’s face changed. Her face had a lot of welts to the point where I could not recognize her anymore. My father then appeared, shocked by my mother’s appearance and then he turned to me. He was possessed with hate and anger. He put his hands around my throat and started to choke me. He screamed and yelled that I had killed her. He called me a demon and began choking me even harder.

 

I did not fight because I felt that I had deserved this punishment. Me being alive had killed my mother. Suddenly my father’s face started to disappear and what came to the surface was Griffith’s face. I was no longer being choked but embraced. Griffith gave me a gentle smile and was glowing from the help of the sun. All the pain and suffering had left from my body and I was no longer plagued with the image of my mother and father. All that appeared was Griffith and nothing but Griffith.

 

He gazed at me and did not allow me to look anywhere else. This moment with this person felt so unreal, yet I felt so safe with him. Griffith came close to my face and he began to part his lips which were inches away from mine. I moved my lips towards him while we remained in our embrace. Our kiss felt like it was our first time kissing since it was so soft and gentle. This memory… I don’t know why I would forget something like this.

 

We parted away from the kiss and then my vision started to get blurry. Griffith gentle face began to disappear and now what awaited me was the necklace. The oval red human-faced necklace started to tremble in my hand. The eyelids of the necklace moved only an inch and then I came back to an emotionless Griffith.

 

Griffith examined the necklace and realized that a change had occurred. He then looked at me and said.

 

“Our first task is complete. You still, however, must ask questions in order for us to proceed to our other golden pieces of paper in order to reverse the curse.”

 

Griffith sighed and stood over me. I still could not move because of the pain but since the necklace had started to change, I did feel some relief that our first task was over.

 

I suddenly remembered the memory of Griffith and me. I blushed slightly and then asked Griffith another question.

 

“Why don’t I remember that we were lovers?”

 

Griffith seemed like he was awaiting this question because he then went to the jar that had the gold pieces of paper in it. He put his hand inside the jar and took out a piece. He then looked at the needle with an unknown substance and his face began to smirk. While he was preparing for the next task, Azul appeared around the organized items on the floor.

 

Griffith replied, “You are about to find out real quick on why you forgot me…”


	6. Golden Piece 2: God of Death and Resurrection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter shows another vision of Gut's past with Griffith.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I plan to end this fanfic with 3 more chapters so bare with me. I plan to have things to be explained clearly in the next chapter. However, this chapter may be quite confusing if you are new to Berserk.

Red was all I saw in Griffith’s aura after I had received my answer. The red aura spread throughout the entire room leaving nothing but Griffith, Azul, and Me. I began to panic once I realized Griffith injected me with an orange chemical like liquid. Everything went still once it was injected into me and I still could not move my body at all. The creepy necklace began to shake along with the rest of the room. The chains and locks on the walls were covered in red yet were the only thing remaining that made me believe that this was the same room.

 

Griffith no longer paid me any attention and gazed his eyes toward Azul. My eyes widen as he grabbed her by the throat and began to strangle her. I screamed for Griffith to let her go while tears instantly came to my eyes. I tried everything in my power to move, but all I could do was scream and beg for him to stop as he continued to strangle her to death.

 

Griffith then proceeded to pick up a knife that laid with the other materials that he had brought. He slowly caressed the knife near Azul’s stomach. He then glanced over at me and said,

 

“I am going to demonstrate to you how easily and swiftly it is to kill something you love just as you did those years ago, betrayal at its finest!” He smirked as he said this to me and raised the knife pointing it now at Azul’s stomach.

 

I let out one last plea with tears rolling down my eyes uncontrollably in hopes that he would stop.

 

“Why? Please, not her. Take me instead!”

 

Griffith still with a smirk on his face replied, “Why? There is no reason to ask why Guts, you’ll see the why instead. For now, enjoy the show…”

 

Without any hesitation or remorse, Griffith repeatedly stabbed Azul in the stomach. Azul yelped out in pain while her blood splattered out towards my face and all over Griffith’s clothes and face. He did not stop stabbing her even when she became limp. Once he finally felt satisfied he stopped and pulled out the knife slowly from what remained of Azul’s stomach. Then he began to move his knife elsewhere on Azul. I could not look away as he begun to cut off her eyes, ears, tail, and fur. Everything that was Azul was no longer there.

 

I could not breathe, I could no longer scream anymore and only watched as Griffith tore her apart. My eyes were the only reaction to this horrific scene as they were filled with tears and rage for allowing this man into my home. The cries of Azul consumed my mind which once again made me have another occurring vision.

 

I remember the screams. I hear Azul’s, then I hear millions of men screaming along side Azul. These men were from the picture that Griffith showed me except that they weren’t standing beside me. They had all lost body parts and were crawling around in their own blood, cursing and screaming my name. Their blood all linked together and connected with a blade that I had in my hand. The blade seemed to be covered in all of the men's blood.

 

The screams continued as I walked through the path of corpses and the wounded. Once I met a dead end, I see Griffith in a form I thought I would never see him in. his whole body was crippled and the age of his skin was no longer young. He was lying on top of several of the soldier's corpses. The only thing that remained functioning on Griffith was the glare of his bright blue eyes.

 

I dragged my blade towards Griffith and nothing but red had filled our space. As I approached Griffith, a woman in a dark cloak appeared by my side. She appeared to be a young and it felt that I had met her somewhere before. She gazed at me and said,

 

“You must not kill him or for the cycle will continue.”

 

I looked at her confusingly and yelled

 

“But he has caused much  pain, he is not meant for this world.”

 

“He will just be brought back you fool once you kill him.”

 

I started to get angry at her calm composure and the fact that she was in my way for revenge.

 

“Shut your mouth wench and move out of my way” I push her away from me and proceeded to do what I was destined to do.

 

The woman screamed out after me, but her pleas fail as I pierce my sword through Griffith’s shriveled body. He made no sound or indication that he was in pain and just died instantly. His blue eyes were open and staring at me as I had taken his last breath. I noticed tears coming from those eyes and blood dripping from his mouth.

 

I no longer felt angry…

 

I did not feel better after killing him.

 

The only thing that came to me was ancient memories of me and Griffith. He was the only person that made me feel that I belonged in this world. He had never rejected me but yet hurt everyone I cared about.

 

I can never forgive him for this pain, but I can not stop feeling love for him.

 

Tears rolled down my face once I realized that I had just killed the man that only had ever loved me. Why couldn’t he just say that he was in love with me? Why is this happening?

 

The woman in the cloak comes near me and stares at Griffith’s cold dead body. She shook her head and looked at me and said,

 

“ in order for this to stop happening, you must not give in. you must learn to forgive. Your wrath only brings about destruction. In order to break this curse set upon you both, you must forgive and you must also convince Griffith that he is no God. There is only one God, humans are not meant for such power.”

 

I did not quite hear everything she had to say since my body began to feel the shock of losing someone. My body would not stop shivering and my heart felt heavy from all the wonderful memories I had with Griffith. I put my hand against his and lay myself next to him. I was no longer listening to the woman while she struggled to plead with me about our unavoidable curse.

 

With my other hand I stroke his silver hair and just waited… I knew he was dead but I waited. I had waited for Griffith for centuries so that we could never be apart again.

 

The vision started to fade away and I saw nothing but darkness for a while. Once I saw the light, the room returned back to normal and nothing seemed out of the ordinary besides the locks and chains covering the walls.

 

After looking around the room, I realized something heavy was on top of me. I pick myself up a little from the couch and notice a Griffith covered in a blanket on top of me with Azul curled up in his arm. The two things that I loved in this world were alive. Whatever I saw before must have been an illusion yet it felt so real.

 

However, now that I looked closely at Griffith the only thing that seemed to change about him was his age. His body was glowing with light and then I looked myself and noticed that I had an aura that was covered in red. I then picked up the necklace to see if anything had changed. The necklace now appeared to have one eye open and the mouth began to appear more clearly.

 

Griffith’s becoming of a God seems to be on its progress to become of reality. I was not sure what I could do about it or if it was even worth stopping. All I know is that vision made me remember that I do not want to kill the people that I love anymore.

 

I sigh and caress Griffith’s and Azuls head. The only thing I can do now is waiting for this curse to end and try to figure out a way to convince Griffith to stop his pursuit of becoming a God.


End file.
